Excessive Anger and its Cure
In anger, the intellect does not remain sound, and one is unable to think of the consequences. For this reason, unbefitting words escape from the mouth and oppression and excesses are committed by the hands. At times in a rage of anger, a person utters three divorces and then is forced to cry for the rest of his life. Sometimes in a fit of anger, a person hits wildly without thinking, killing the other person and thus destroys homes and families for generations to come! A Hadith states, “Anger is from Shaytaan, and Shaytaan has been created from fire. The cure for fire is water. Thus, when anger comes, make wudhu.”
The cure for anger is that one should move away from the one who has angered him. If he does not move away, then one should himself move away. Then think that even though this person has wronged me, taken my right and disobeyed me, day and night we continue disobeying Allah Ta’ala so much more and are negligent in fulfilling His rights. Inspite of this, Allah Ta’ala does not snatch away His bounties and favors from us. Just as we desire that Allah Ta’ala should forgive our sins, similarly we should desire to forgive the sins of Allah Ta’ala’s servants. How many sins we wish to be forgiven on the Day of Judgment, so much we should forgive the sins of Allah Ta’ala’s servants and bestow favors on them. Inshallah, by thinking of this, one’s heart will begin to lighten. Recite,
اعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
a few times, make wudhu and drink cold water. If you are standing, then sit down. If you are sitting, then lie down. Think of Allah Ta’ala’s anger. When your anger lessens, and your mind becomes sound, then select an appropriate punishment. An example of this is then you become angry for the sake of reformation of your child, then when your anger subsides and after careful consideration, punish only as much as is allowed in the Shari’at. By repetition, one’s anger will be reformed.
Some incidents of not Controlling one’s Anger
Controlling one’s anger feels a burden on one’s Nafs, but it’s result is always favorable. Even an enemy becomes a friend. On the other hand, by vanity one’s anger, even a friend becomes an enemy. Gradually, a person due to this evil character loses all helpers. One person, was extremely evilnatured and use to vex his neighbors. When his wife passed away, he was forced to hire workers to cleans his impurities. Rasulullah (Sallellaho Alaihe Wasallam) said, “A strong one is not he who defeats others in wrestling. A strong one is he who controls himself at the time of anger.”
Allah Ta’ala has praised those who swallow their anger, those who forgive the wrongdoings of people and those who do good to them. Regarding loss of wealth, one should think that whatever occurs, occurs by the command of Allah Ta’ala and by patience, one receives reward. By reciting,
on such occasions, one has been promised a better bounty. Think that by exacting revenge, one’s reward will be lost, and he will attain no benefit at all. In anger, if one takes revenge and he has to oppress the other party, then he will have to separately bear Allah Ta’ala’s punishment and seizure.
A buzurg, Hazrat Bayazid Bustami (Rahmatullah Alaihe) was walking along when an enemy of his threw a basket of ashes on top of his head. Hazrat said, “Alhamdulillah.” His disciples asked, “Was this an occasion to say Alhamdulillah?” He replied, “The one who was worthy of being burnt by fire due to his disobedience, why should he not be grateful that only ashes fell on him?”
Two men were fighting in front of Hazrat Maulana Rumi (Rahmatullah Alaihe). One said, “If you swear at me once, I will swear at you ten times.” Hazrat said, “Swear me one thousand times, I will not reply with even one vulgar word.” Both of them fell down, kissed his feet and reconciled.”
Hazrat Shaikh-ul-Hadith Maulana Zakariyya Saheb (Rahmatullah Alaihe) rebuked one servant. He sought forgiveness. Hazrat said, “You always trouble like this, till when must I bear this attitude of yours? Hazrat Maulana Ilyas Saheb (Rahmatullah Alaihe) was sitting close by. He whispered into his ear, “Just as much as you want Allah Ta’ala to forgive you, forgive His servant’s faults here.”
A beautiful and Effective contemplation to cure Anger
When anger completely overcomes one, then immediately think, If I control my anger at this time and forgive, then Allah Ta’ala on the Day of Judgment will hold back His punishment from me. This glad tiding is found in the narration of Hazrat Anas
Practical Remedy of Excessive Anger
Reading the following points repeatedly everyday would insha Allah help in controlling one’s anger. These are practical steps to be taken at the time of anger.
1. To recite اعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
2. To perform wudhu.
3. To change ones’ position, i.e. if one is standing, then sit, if one is sitting, then lay down.
4. To remove oneself from the company of whomever the person is angry with or to remove that person from ones’ own company.
5. To sit in the company of some righteous person.
6. To occupy ones’ self with the remembrance of Allah or in particular to send salutations upon Rasulullah (Sallellahu Alayhi Wa Sallam).
7. As far as possible, to not speak nor have any type of dealing(s) with the person one is angry with.
8. To reflect on the following point, that anger spoils ones’ iman (faith) just as aloe spoils honey.
9. To ponder over this point, that I am also at fault with Allah and if I am taken to task regarding my faults, then it would be difficult for me to attain salvation. Hence, if I overlook or forgive the faults of others I hope that my own faults would be overlooked and forgiven by Allah. Therefore, to overlook and forgive the faults of the person one is angry with is the best course of action.
10. If one acts contrary to the above-mentioned points, then one should penalize ones’ self financially anywhere from fifty cents to ten dollars (or whatever currency is appropriate) by donating the amount to charity along with praying four rak’ats (in sets of two), nafl salah.
Highly recommended readings on the Treatment of Anger