interview wife mufti taqi usmani

An Interview with the Wife of Hazrat Mufti Taqi Usmani Sb Db

interview wife mufti taqi usmani

Interview with the Wife of Shaykh al-Islam Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani
(May Allah preserve them both)

Reproduced, with minor editing, from ‘The Intellect’ magazine (published in Karachi, Pakistan), with direct permission from the Interviewee and Shaykh Mufti Taqi Usmani (Muhammad ibn Adam).

Question: Shaykh Mufti Taqi Usmani has spent his entire life in the service of Islam with constant effort and hard work. To achieve so much Masha Allah, he must have a support system at home. Can you kindly share with us how you help him out?

Wife of MTU: Since the very first day of our marriage, I decided – with the intention of earning reward – that I will take up all household responsibilities in a manner so that Shaykh can fully concentrate on the work of deen. This way, I [hope to] get a share in the reward of his religious efforts as well. To this end, I not only try to contribute to the religious environment of the house (e.g. by not involving him in vain conversations), but also give him no trouble regarding household affairs, ranging from arranging groceries to buying personal items such as clothes etc. I try to resolve all big and small household issues on my own; for example, getting a broken phone stand repaired. Even when the children were small, I would try to make sure that Shaykh is not disturbed by routine issues related to them.

I would also like to mention here that I have been blessed by Allah Most High with one of the most considerate of spouses, who has always provided me with the best of worldly and religious environment at home. I feel total bliss, Al-hamdulillah.

 

Question: Shaykh travels abroad very frequently. Did you get chances to travel with him? If yes, how do you keep yourself occupied when he is busy in official meetings / work etc?

Wife of MTU: I travel very frequently with Shaykh. In fact, I have accompanied him on many foreign tours. Usually, as we board the plane, he begins work on his laptop and keeps working until the plane lands at the destination. In the meantime, I get myself busy in completing my daily recitations (ma’mulat/wird) during the course of the journey. At the hotel, Shaykh proceeds to his official engagements and I open up the Holy Qur’an for recitation, reading [also] the translation, etc. Actually, I love reading. At home, since one is busy with household affairs, one does not get enough time to read with concentration. So on these travels; I fulfill my desire of reading [with concentration]. Recently, I was trying to learn Arabic, so I would open up my Arabic books and try to study. When Shaykh would come to the room for lunch, I would show him about something I didn’t understand.

I am not too fond of outings or shopping, so even with many ladies offering to show me around the town, I prefer to stay at the hotel and follow my routine. At Fajr time, Shaykh and I always go for a half hour walk together, no matter where we are. In the evening, even when I am at home, I complete my evening half hour walk on a treadmill while reciting at least one Juz of the Holy Qur’an.

On foreign tours, after the official work has finished, Shaykh many times adds an extra day to the trip for my sake to show me different sites and places in the city.

 

Question: When the children grow up, the ladies of the house get some extra time to spend as they like. How do you utilize that time and how to do you spend your average day?

Wife of MTU: Every Thursday, I deliver a talk for the female teachers and staff of the Hira Foundation School [the hybrid school offering the Cambridge education system along with religious learning within Dar-ul-Uloom Karachi premises], where I read from Shaykh’s [book] Islahi Khutbat. I also frequently make surprise visits to the school to check up on its work.

As far as my daily routine is concerned (which is aligned with that of Shaykh’s, to give him maximum comfort), it mostly goes like this: After Fajr, we go for a walk together; then we have breakfast at 7:30am. Shaykh then proceeds to his 8.00 to 10.00am class to teach Sahih al-Bukhari, while I get busy in household chores. He comes home at 10.00am, and until 12 noon works on his laptop [writing books, etc]. 12.00 to 2.00pm are his office hours, so he proceeds there. After Zuhr prayers, we have our lunch together at around 2.15pm, and then rest for half to one hours (till around 3.30pm). [From 3.30pm till Asr, he goes back to his office where teachers, students and others have an opportunity to consult with him]. Asr to Maghrib prayers is family time. Shaykh is very particular that we all sit together at this time and discuss any issues of interest. From Maghrib to Isha, he proceeds to do his own work e.g. if he is working on a book, then writing, researching for it etc. After dinner, we all sit down for 10-15 minutes, where Shaykh reads out from a book. The grandchildren must also attend this reading session. After this, he again gets back to work before retiring to bed at 12.00 midnight.

 

Question: What needs to be done to further our work for the reformation efforts directed towards women?

Wife of MTU: First of all, more and frequent lecture gatherings must be held for ladies, where discourses of our pious predecessors are read out. The more ladies listen to these, the more impact it would have; not only bringing about a gradual change in them, but they would also be able to positively impact their children and household.

Secondly, our approach to reformation should not be an offensive or even direct one; we should not be scolding the other as it would only irritate the listener, and instead of accepting the good advice, she may become reactionary. We should indirectly try to make people understand about prevalent vices by frequently inviting them over to religious gatherings. As an example, if a lady is busy in rearing up children at home and is interested in da’wah work or feels pain at something that her next door neighbour might be doing incorrectly, she should take out just 15-20 minutes out of her schedule, invite her neighbour and another one or two ladies to her place for an informal gathering where she can read out a few pages from a book of a pious predecessor. In this way, the neighbour will get to know the correct approach in a subtle and indirect manner. Even though this effort seems insignificant, but it will, insha’ Allah, have a huge impact if done regularly over a period of time – just like trickling drops of water impact a hard rock over time.

We as ladies should also remember to teach our children acts of Sunna and Prophetic (masnun) duas from a very young age. It will help develop their habit of following the Sunna, and we would be able to contribute towards their positive upbringing in a very meaningful manner.

To make our advice to others more effective, it is always good to make dua first. Whenever I am to speak at any forum, I always offer two units of Salat al-Hajah (Prayer of Need) to make the effort beneficial for both myself and the listeners.

 

Question: In these unsettling times where separations are rife, is there any particular advice [for women] that you consider important for a happy and successful marriage?

Wife of MTU: One thing which I think is vital for wives, especially these days, is to be sensitive to the likes and dislikes of their husbands. It is common knowledge that women generally dress up (in their best clothes), put on perfume, don make-up and look their best when they go out, but at home they remain dressed ragged or in very plain clothes, without being even slightly made-up, with whiffs of the kitchen surrounding them. It should be the other way around, in that while going out, ladies should dress simply and be in Hijab. This would create a very healthy environment.

 

Question: Which of Shaykh’s habits do you like most?

Wife of MTU: (Laughingly) All! Masha Allah. In fact, my relatives joke with me that we have never seen a wife listen so intently to her husband’s discourses. We have been, Masha Allah, blessed with a wonderful companionship by Allah Most High. It is the fruit of trying to do everything for each other with the intention of earning reward.

 

Question: What does Shaykh prefer in food?

Wife of MTU: He really likes plain mutton gravy and daal mash.

 

Question: These days, we are surrounded by all kinds of vices – for one, there is a fully fledged media attack. To top it, Muslims themselves are inclined towards non-Islamic rituals and practices e.g. non-Islamic rites at weddings, non-observance of Hijab, extravagance, haram sources of income etc. How do we protect ourselves and our children in such an environment and how do we inculcate self-confidence in children when they are to swim against the tide?

Wife of MTU: I think the most important thing to do at such times is to keep the household environment healthy and safe. If the home atmosphere is Islamic, where children are trained according to religious injunctions and are taught about the rights and wrongs in a proper manner, Insha’Allah, they will remain safe when they step out. When all members of the house pray regularly, fast and remain busy in Dhikr, Allah Most High protects them from attacks of Satan. And the most critical role in this training is that of the mother. If the lady of the house wishes, she can change the entire environment of her home.

On one of our visits to England, we came across a Muslim community whose children knew more Prophetic (masnun) duas than many Pakistani children, whose young girls observed proper Hijab and all the elders were Masha Allah following the injunctions of Islam including prayers at the mosque and adorning the proper Islamic dress. When asked how they could maintain such a lifestyle in an open environment such as in the UK, they simply replied that they had kept their home environments intact. Thus, the children remained insulated from external deviating pressures. So, it is a matter of will really. Islam is as practicable today, in the prevalent environment, as it was in yesteryears. If we want to follow it comprehensively, we need to have a firm and sincere intention to do so. The rest is made easy by Allah Most High.

 

Question: What would you like to say to the readers of our magazine, especially young females who are becoming increasingly aware of their religious obligations but face peer pressure or even resistance at home?

Wife of MTU: They should try their utmost to attend religious gatherings and read books of our pious predecessors. The more they do so, the easier and quicker would be their transformation process, Insha’Allah. If a girl decides to bring about a change in her life and remains steadfast and resolved, no one can come in her way. In fact, the members of her household would also gradually start noticing the positive changes in her and might all come around to the complete Islamic way of life too, Insha’Allah.

Jazakallah for giving your time and sharing your valuable views with us.

Source: Darul Iftaa Website

hazrat wala hakeem akhtar passes away

Audio Recordings & Updates – The Sad Demise of Hazrat Maulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Sahab RA

 

hazrat wala hakeem akhtar passes away

Aarif Billah Shaykh ul Arab Wal Ajam Hazrat e Aqdas Maulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Sahab RA passed away on Monday 1434 – 23 Rajab | 02 June 2013 shortly after the Maghrib salah, leaving behind millions of followers, admirers, students and spiritual disciples. The demise of Hazrat Wala RA has not only saddened the hearts of Muslims across Pakistan, but also left a deep impact on Muslims across the globe.

The funeral prayer of Hazrat Wala RA was led by Hazrat’s son, Hazrat Maulana Hakeem Muhammad Mazhar Sahab Db, on 03 June 2013, and was attended by more than 100,000 people, while thousands couldn’t even make it to the janazah because of traffic jams across the city of Karachi due to the extremely large number of people who had turned up for the Janazah.

Hazrat Wala RA was laid to rest in a small graveyard near Jamia Ashraf ul Madaris , one of the largest religious schools in Pakistan and founded by Hazrat Wala RA.

We have listed all the events, resources and recordings related to the demise of Hazrat Wala RA on this page. The page will be updated regularly insha Allah as soon as new content is available.

Note: Please report any broken links on our Contact Page

Khanqah from Inside Hakeem akhtar

Short Biography

Hazrat Maulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb RA

(1928 – 2013)

Note: This short biography has been taken from Khanqah.org and was written before Hazrat passed away

Shaykh Maulana Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb (Daamat Barakaatuhum) is one of the greatest gifted scholars of Islam today. His reputation and standing to the Muslims of Asian subcontinent needs no introduction. However, for the benefit of others, Shaykh has been favored by Allah (swt) to have been nurtured by three of the greatest and most renowned Wali’s (saints) of his time.

Shaykh’s inclination towards the Creator, the Almighty Allah (swt) began before he even reached puberty. He dedicated his life from before teens in the service of those pious servants of Allah (swt) whom the world today refers as Ahlullah (saints). From the tender age of 12, he began attending discourses of renowned scholars of the time. At the age of 15, he took bay’at (pledge) to the great Wali (saint) of his time, Shaykh Shah Muhammad Ahmed (ra) and spent three years continuously in his lofty company. Thereafter Shaykh was guided to the company of the famous Wali (saint) Shaykh Shah Abdul Ghani Phoolpuri (ra), with whom he spent 17 years. The Shaykh’s service and dedication to his Shaykh is unsurpassable in recent times. During the seventeen years with Shaykh Phoolpuri (ra) the nights were spent in a retreat (jungle) from where no other human sound was audible except for the Shaykh’s (Phoolpuri)zikr (remembrance of Allah). It was under the tutelage of Shaykh Phoolpuri for seventeen years that Hazrat mastered the scholarly work of Mathnawi by Shaykh Rumi. Shaykh Phoolpuri (ra) himself was guided by the greatest scholar of recent history, Hakeem ul Ummat Shaykh Ashraf Ali Thanwi (ra), who in turn was taught the Mathnawi by Shaykh Haji Imdadullah (ra).

Shaykh’s discourses permeate the listeners’ heart with Allah’s love, Greatness and hope of salvation. Every word he utters brings one closer to the Creator, Almighty Allah (swt). His company impresses upon those around him to converge their mental as well as physical ‘being‘ into living a life to the Creator’s criterion. His discourses know no language, color or age barriers and even those alien of Urdu benefit. During Ramadan 1419 (1998/1999) a European from Belgium, who could not speak not understand Urdu, spent Ramadan with Shaykh. He was occasionally seen mesmerized by the Shaykh discourses and tears rolled down his cheeks. When someone asked him what was that kept him with Shaykh’s company? He replied, “Shaykh’s words touch my heart and my eyes involuntarily weep, thinking of Allah’s Greatness”. It is because of Shaykh’s great appreciation and understanding of Allah’s qualities that his Shaykh awarded him the title of Aarif Billah (One who has become acquainted with Allah’s qualities).

In his discourses and writings he explores profound topics relevant to the ummah(community) at present time. .His understanding and explanation of man’s spiritual relationship with Allah (swt), the prevalent spiritual and physical maladies and its rectification are topics taken up by other Ulemas (scholars of Islam) throughout the world.

Audio Recordings & Links Related to Funeral (Namaz e Janaza)

Special Audio – Allah Kay Liye Gunah Chor Do | Hazrat Wala RA Ka Apne Mutalliqeen Aur Ummat Kay Liye Dard

 

 

Poetry (Ashaar) in Remembrance of Hazrat Wala RA

 

Mubasshiraat(Blessed Dreams)

 

 

Tributes by leading Ulama from All Over the World

a. In Urdu

b. In English

 

 

Newspaper Columns & Articles

a. English

b. Urdu

Articles by Hazrat Ishrat Jamil Mir Sahab Db (Khadim e Khaas o Khalifa Hazrat Wala RA)

Articles by Hazrat Maulana Jalil Ahmad Akhwan Sahab Db (Khalifa Hazrat Wala RA)

Series of Articles by Hazrat Shaheen Iqbal Asar Sahab Db (Khalifa Hazrat Wala RA)

  1. Hazrat Wala RA Ki Muhabbat o Shafqat
  2. Baghair Baghbaan Gulshan Bhi Weerana Sa Lagta Hai
  3. Hazrat Wala RA Ki Shaan e Istaghna
  4. Hazrat Wala RA Ka Ishq e Risalat SAW
  5. Hazrat Wala RA Ka Tareeq e Tarbiyat
  6. Hazrat Wala RA Ka Tarz e Mizah – I
  7. Hazrat Wala RA Ka Tarz e Mizah – II

Article Hazrat Maulana Ilyas Ghumman Sahab Db

Other Articles in Zarb e Momin Special Edition

Other Articles from different Newspapers and Magazines

Wasiyyat (Will) of Hazrat Maulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Sahab R.A (English & Urdu)

Wasiyat Hazrat Maulana Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Sahab

Shaykh ul Arab wal Ajam Arif Billah Hazrat Maulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Sahab R.A passed away on 23 Rajab 1434 (02-June-2013) immediately after Maghrib salah in Khanqah Imdadia Ashrafiya, Karachi.

إِنَّا لِلّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعونَ

The funeral prayers (Namaz e Janazah) of Hazrat Wala R.A were offered in Jamia Ashraf ul Madaris, Gulistan e Jauhar, Karachi lead by Hazrat Maulana Mazhar Sahab Db (the only son of Hazrat Wala R.A) and attended by thousands of Ulama, Mashaikh, Madrasa Students, Murideen and common people from all walks of life. Hazrat was laid to rest in a graveyard near Jamia Ashraf ul Madaris.

Below is the scanned version of the final will (wasiyyat) of Hazrat Wala R.A. written by himself in the year 1999. It has also been translated in English language for the benefit of our readers.

You can also listen to the audio version of Hazrat’s wasiyyat read out by Hazrat Feroz Memon Sahab Db (Khalifa of Hazrat Wala R.A) in Urdu shortly after Hazrat Wala R.A. passed away.

001 Wasiyat (Will) Maulana Hakeem Akhtar Sahab

The Will

Arif Billah Hazrat Maulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Sahab R.A. 

Dated: 20th Rabi-ul-Awwal 1420 | 5th July 1999

1. Alhamdulillah, this servant has not left behind any outstanding debts.

2. I have made Maulana Mazhar Sahab the owner of all the items that I am currently using. Maulana Mazhar Saheb has loaned these items to me, hence I am using them. The laws of inheritance will not apply to these items. Maulana Mazhar Saheb is also the owner of the blessed frames that are on the walls (of the Khanqah) and the same ruling will apply to these items as explained above.

3. The bags of cash that are labelled “gifts of the servant (i.e. Hadrat Wala)” will be distributed according to the Shari’ee law of inheritance. My sons will receive two shares each and my daughter will receive one share. The Shari’ee law of inheritance will also apply to my money that is kept by Sayyid Ishrat Jameel, after discharging the Fidya of the Salaah and Fasts that are outstanding.

4. I make a Wasiyyat (bequest) for myself, family members, and close associates that every moment of one’s life should be sacrificed in pleasing Allah and one should not displease Allah for a single moment by indulging in any form of Haraam. If one commits an error, then please Allah by repenting, seeking forgiveness and crying before Allah.

5. One should always remain in the companionship of the pious, and one should always be under the guidance of such a Sheikh with whom he is compatible.

5. Remain in close companionship of the pious throughout your lives and always remain under the guidance of a pious Shaikh with whom you’re compatible.

6. Adopt extreme piety in financial matters and always refer to the Muftis in issues pertaining to the Masaa’il of Shariah.

7. Always make effort in propagating my publications so that I may continue reaping the rewards, and my children should spend their entire lives in the service of Deen. And in business, give preference to the selling of books and keep the selling of medication as a secondary business.

8. Bury me in the same town where I pass away.

9. Make a habit of reciting Surah Ikhlaas thrice and passing over (eesaal e sawab) the rewards to my soul, and seeking forgiveness on my behalf.

10. My funeral prayers (Namaz e Janazah) should be lead by Maulana Mazhar Sahab.

11.The Janazah should be buried as soon as possible. The chest should face towards the Qibla in the grave in accordance to Sunnah, and abstain from the custom of exposing my face to the people.

Muslim Marriage - Advice of Imam Ahmed Ibn Hanbal to hi son on wedding

Golden Advice for Muslim Husbands – The Key to a Joyous Married Life

Imam Ahmed ibn Hanbal R.A was one of the great scholars of Islam. The day his son got married, Imam Sahab gave him some of the most useful wedding advice that any man could wish for. These are golden words of a great scholar that every Muslim husband should read attentively and with the intention of acting upon them.

Here’s what Imam Ahmed ibn Hanbal R.A advised his son.

1. A Joyous Married Life in 10 Steps

Dear son, you will not attain good fortune in your home except by 10 characteristics which you show to your wife, so remember them and be enthusiastic in acting upon them.

2. Be Generous in Expressing Your Love!

As for the first two; women like attention and they like to be told clearly that they are loved. So don’t be stingy in expressing your love for your wife. If you become limited in expressing your love, you will create a barrier of harshness between you and her, and there will be a decrease in affection.

3. Don’t be Overcautious

Ladies hate a strict, overcautious man, yet they seek to use the soft vulnerable one. So use each quality appropriately. This will be more appealing for love and it will bring you peace of mind.

4. Be Pleasant & Attractive for Her

Ladies like from their husbands what their husbands like from them, i.e. kind words, good looks, clean clothes and a pleasant odor. Therefore, always remain in that state.

5. Let Her Be the Queen of Your House

Indeed, the house is under the sovereignty of the woman. While she remains therein, she feels that she is sitting upon her throne, and that she is the chief of the house . Stay clear of destroying this kingdom of hers and do not ever attempt to dethrone her, otherwise you will be trying to snatch her sovereignty. A king gets most angry at he who tries to strip him of his authority, even if he portrays to show something else.

6. Avoid Competitions Between Relationships

A woman wants to love her husband, but at the same time she does not want to lose her family. So do not put yourself and her family in the same scale, because then her choice will be down to either you or her family. And even if she does choose you over her family, she will remain in anxiety, which will then turn into hatred towards you in your daily life.

7. Strike the Right Balance

Surely woman has been created from a curved rib, and this is the secret of her beauty, and the secret of the attraction towards her. And this is no defect in her, because ‘the eyebrows look beautiful due to them being curved’. So if she errs, do not rebuke her in a manner in which there is no gentleness, attempting to straighten her; otherwise you will simply break her and her breaking, is her divorce. At the same time do not let her off upon that mistake, otherwise her crookedness will increase and she will become arrogant with her ego. Thereafter, she will never soften for you and she won’t listen to you, so stay in between the two.

8. Understand Her Nature and Adjust

It is in the women’s nature to be ungrateful towards their husbands and to deny favors  If you were to be nice to her for her whole life but you grieved her once, she will say, “I have never seen any good from you”. So don’t let this attitude of her make you dislike her or to run away from her. If you dislike this feature of hers, you will be pleased with some other good habits within her, so create a balance.

9. Always Stand by Her Side

Surely there are times when a woman goes through some conditions of bodily weakness and fatigue of the mind. Such that Allah has relieved her of some of her compulsory worships during that period; Allah has totally pardoned her from praying, and has postponed the days of fasting for her within this break to a later date until she regains her health and becomes normal in her temperament once more. Thus, during these days, treat her in a godly manner. Just as Allah has relieved her of the duties, you should also lessen your demands and instructions from her during those days.

10. Be Merciful

Last but not least, know that a woman is like a captive with you. Therefore, have mercy upon her.

via Tafseer e Raheemi

 

امام احمد ابن حنبل رح کی اپنے بیٹے کو خوشگوار ازدواجی زندگی کیلئے ۱۰ قیمتی نصیحتیں

امام احمد ابن حنبل رح نے اپنے صاحب زادے کو شادی کی رات ۱۰ نصیحتیں فرمائیں

ہر شادی شدہ مرد کو چاہیئے کہ انکو غور سے پڑھے اور اپنی زندگی میں عملی طور پر اختیار کرے

میرے بیٹے، تم گھر کا سکون حاصل نہیں کرسکتے جب تک کہ اپنی بیوی کے معاملے میں ان ۱۰ عادتوں کو نہ اپناؤ

لہذا ان کو غور سے سنو اور عمل کا ارادہ کرو

پہلی دو تو یہ کہ عورتیں تمھاری توجہ چاہتی ہیں اور چاہتی ہیں کہ تم ان سے واضح الفاظ میں محبت کا اظہار کرتے رہو

لہذا وقتاً فوقتاً اپنی بیوی کو اپنی محبت کا احساس دلاتے رہو اور واضح الفاظ میں اسکو بتاؤ کہ وہ تمہارے لئے کس قدر اہم اور محبوب ہے
(اس گمان میں نہ رہو کہ وہ خود سمجھ جائے گی، رشتوں کو اظہار کی ضرورت ہمیشہ رہتی ہے)

یاد رکھو اگر تم نے اس اظہار میں کنجوسی سے کام لیا تو تم دونوں کے درمیان ایک تلخ دراڑ آجائے گی جو وقت کے ساتھ بڑھتی رہے گی اور محبت کو ختم کردے گی

۳- عورتوں کو سخت مزاج اور ضرورت سے زیادہ محتاط مردوں سے کوفت ہوتی ہے

لیکن وہ نرم مزاج مرد کی نرمی کا بےجا فائدہ اٹھانا بھی جانتی ہیں

لہذا ان دونوں صفات میں اعتدال سے کام لینا تاکہ گھر میں توازن قائم رہے اور تم دونوں کو ذہنی سکون حاصل ہو

۴- عورتیں اپنے شوہر سے وہی توقع رکھتی ہیں جو شوہر اپنی بیوی سے رکھتا ہے

یعنی عزت، محبت بھری باتیں، ظاہری جمال، صاف ستھرا لباس اور خوشبودار جسم

لہذا ہمیشہ اسکا خیال رکھنا

۵- یاد رکھو گھر کی چار دیواری عورت کی سلطنت ہے، جب وہ وہاں ہوتی ہے تو گویا اپنی مملکت کے تخت پر بیٹھی ہوتی ہے

اسکی اس سلطنت میں بےجا مداخلت ہرگز نہ کرنا اور اسکا تخت چھیننے کی کوشش نہ کرنا

جس حد تک ممکن ہو گھر کے معاملات اسکے سپرد کرنا اور اس میں تصرف کی اسکو آزادی دینا

۵- ہر بیوی اپنے شوہر سے محبت کرنا چاہتی ہے لیکن یاد رکھو اسکے اپنے ماں باپ بہن بھائی اور دیگر گھر والے بھی ہیں جن سے وہ لاتعلق نہیں ہو سکتی اور نہ ہی اس سے ایسی توقع جائز ہے

لہذا کبھی بھی اپنے اور اسکے گھر والوں کے درمیان مقابلے کی صورت پیدا نہ ہونے دینا کیونکہ اگر اسنے مجبوراً تمہاری خاطر اپنے گھر والوں کو چھوڑ بھی دیا تب بھی وہ بےچین رہے گی اور یہ بےچینی بالآخر تم سے اسے دور کردے گی

۷- بلاشبہ عورت ٹیڑھی پسلی سے پیدا کی گئی ہے اور اسی میں اسکا حسن بھی ہے

یہ ہرگز کوئی نقص نہیں، وہ ایسے ہی اچھی لگتی ہے جس طرح بھنویں گولائی میں خوبصورت معلوم ہوتی ہیں

لہذا اسکے ٹیڑھپن سے فائدہ اٹھاؤ اور اسکے اس حسن سے لطف اندوز ہو

اگر کبھی اسکی کوئی بات ناگوار بھی لگے تو اسکے ساتھ سختی اور تلخی سے اسکو سیدھا کرنے کی کوشش نہ کرو ورنہ وہ ٹوٹ جائے گی، اور اسکا ٹوٹنا بالآخر طلاق تک نوبت لے جائے گا

مگر اسکے ساتھ ساتھ ایسا بھی نہ کرنا کہ اسکی ہر غلط اور بےجا بات مانتے ہی چلے جاؤ ورنہ وہ مغرور ہو جائے گی جو اسکے اپنے ہی لئے نقصان دہ ہے

لہذا معتدل مزاج رہنا اور حکمت سے معاملات کو چلانا

۸- شوہر کی ناقدری اور ناشکری اکثر عورتوں کی فطرت میں ہوتی ہے

اگر ساری عمر بھی اس پر نوازشیں کرتے رہو لیکن کبھی کوئی کمی رہ گئی تو وہ یہی کہے گی تم نے میری کونسی بات سنی ہے آج تک

لہذا اسکی اس فطرت سے زیادہ پریشان مت ہونا اور نہ ہی اسکی وجہ سے اس سے محبت میں کمی کرنا

یہ ایک چھوٹا سا عیب ہے اس کے اندر

لیکن اسکے مقابلے میں اسکے اندر بے شمار خوبیاں بھی ہیں

بس تم ان پر نظر رکھنا اور اللہ کی بندی سمجھ کر اس سے محبت کرتے رہنا اور حقوق ادا کرتے رہنا

۹- ہر عورت پر جسمانی کمزوری کے کچھ ایام آتے ہیں۔ ان ایام میں اللہ تعالٰی نے بھی اسکو عبادات میں چھوٹ دی ہے، اسکی نمازیں معاف کردی ہیں اور اسکو روزوں میں اس وقت تک تاخیر کی اجازت دی ہے جب تک وہ دوبارہ صحتیاب نہ ہو جائے

بس ان ایام میں تم اسکے ساتھ ویسے ہی مہربان رہنا جیسے اللہ تعالٰی نے اس پر مہربانی کی ہے

جس طرح اللہ نے اس پر سے عبادات ہٹالیں ویسے ہی تم بھی ان ایام میں اسکی کمزوری کا لحاظ رکھتے ہوئے اسکی ذمہ داریوں میں کمی کردو، اسکے کام کاج میں مدد کرادو اور اس کے لئے سہولت پیدا کرو

۱۰- آخر میں بس یہ یاد رکھو کہ تمہاری بیوی تمہارے پاس ایک قیدی ہے جسکے بارے میں اللہ تعالٰی تم سے سوال کرے گا۔ بس اسکے ساتھ انتہائی رحم و کرم کا معاملہ کرنا

حوالہ: ویب سائٹ جمیعت العلماء ساؤتھ افریقہ